How to Prepare Shabbat like a Queen

Here is the scenario:

It's Wednesday morning. You feel like Shabbat is just finally behind you. You finished cleaning the mess that overtook your house, washing (and putting away!) your weekend laundry. Your house finally looks put together.

But wait. You realize that Shabbat is only a short two days away, and you should be thinking about it already. But you don't, and you brush it off. After all, we were just past it. Then comes Thursday. You kind of make a list of what you will be making for Shabbat, but you are still missing half of the ingredients. Again, you tell yourself "It's okay, I still have tomorrow".

But then tomorrow comes and you are far from being prepared. You've heard about that idea to "welcome Shabbat in a relaxed atmosphere", but never really understood how people achieve that. You're running around the city, getting everything that you need. By that time, you've changed your menu multiple times because there just isn't enough time for the complicated stuff.

You get to the kitchen, exhausted from all the groceries, and you have to start cooking. All you keep thinking about is "Oh my gosh, I need to get the kids from school in an hour," "How am I going to finish?" "How can I cook with all the kids around?" "I haven't even eaten and I'm hungry!!"

You start going. Your kitchen turns into a disaster. You get the kids and cook with them around you. They suddenly need you for all sorts of things. You are stressed and the anxiety level is not fun. You finally make it to shabbat.

Yes you cooked, cleaned, prepared the house, showered everyone. But are you relaxed? Did the hours prior to Shabbat seem enjoyable, pleasant or fun? Can we make this any better without sacrificing an entire week just to get from one Shabbat to the next?

Yes we can.

We've all been there. Once, twice, for years, or maybe still there. But where does this relatable scenario go wrong? Planning. No planning leads to stress, which leads to dreading Shabbat week after week.

As Jews, we are blessed that God commanded us to observe and rest on the 7th day of the week. We not only get to relax from a hard week and recuperate, but also to spend time with our families and loved ones, electronics-free. This, nowadays is fundamental to the growth of a family.

Shabbat doesn't and shouldn't be a burden. Shabbat should not bring more stress to your life if it is meant for you to rest. It would be counterproductive.

Over the years, and with many tweaks along the way, I've developed a set of "guidelines" that I personally follow in order to reach that~W tranquility before Shabbat, and I've decided to share as many tips as I can!

Shabbat Planning

Wednesday :

Wednesday is planning day. The main goal is to start having Shabbat in mind. This usually should takes 15-20 minutes of your day (usually at night for me) in order to map it out. That means going through your fridge and seeing first what you can make with what you already have. Then comes making the menu and grocery list that goes with it. That usually includes the items missing from the menu. Over the years, I have learned to keep a stocked pantry and freezer with my basic ingredients so I don't require a lot of extras.

My menus will typically have a fish and meat option for Friday night. Saturday will vary between fish, meat, or both. Then I make a few cooked salads to eat alongside the Challah, and about two options of sweets.

Here is a menu for when I have guests. No, we do not eat all this food alone!

Side note: I only make Seuda Shlishit (the afternoon meal) when Shabbat is long. That is usually from after Pessach until Succot. I don't make it every week, and you shouldn't take it upon yourself until you feel ready for it. I recognize that it is a lot of cooking and it isn't for everyone.

If you would like to use the template that I use here, I have an empty one linked right down here.

Shabbat Plan (empty)

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Download PDF • 20KB

Thursday:

Thursday is the day when you need to make sure that all the ingredients required to prepare Shabbat are in your house. If you need to defrost meat or chicken, do it now. The only protein I prefer buying fresh is fish because I notice an enhancement in the flavor of the fish when it is fresh. I don't pressure myself to do this though. If I have frozen fish, I gladly use it.

If you know that your Thursday will be packed, place a grocery order to be delivered to your house. This service is great when it is needed so use it. The goal of the day is to set the stage for cooking.

Depending on the season, you can take it easier on Thursday and try to just cook a few items, if you can. In the Winter time is when Thursdays become more of a main cooking day (or night) in order to leave only a little for Friday, since Shabbat comes in very early. This way you plan not to make major commitments on Thursdays. Again, planning is key.

Friday:

It's go day.

The main goal of the day is to be done before Chatsot. What is Chatsot? Literally, it translates as midday. It varies anywhere from 12-1pm, depending on the time of the year.

In order to find that time, I use MyZmanim.com. Just enter where you are located and the website will give you exact timings depending on your time zone.

Here is an example of how the website looks like. Notice the "Midday" section.

Now that we settled what midday is, why do I do this?

Back to our scenario from the beginning. We agreed that the stress and overwhelm were not worth it. Yet to be able to make it a habit that is adaptable to the different seasons, I use Chatsot as my time guide.

Chatsot is my goal. It prevents me from adding more to my menu, or from doing other tasks before I am fully done with Shabbat. It helps me control my day. It helps me work faster to get to my goal of not passing the Chatsot mark.

Everyone is human and I am too. I am not perfect. I often pass that mark. But do I get to Shabbat in the same state as our famous scenario? Not at all, and far from it. It keeps me focused on my goal. Knowing that there is an end to the Shabbat prep - way before the Shabbat time - is immeasurably rewarding. Feeling relaxed while bringing Shabbat in cannot be compared to anything.

Cooking:

Erev Shabbat fully depends on the season. During the summer season, you can allow yourself to have more to do on that day then in the winter. As a general rule for me personally, I leave the fish to cook (but will often prepare the sauce in advance), the dafina, any frying. This fully depends on your menu and traditions. It can be: preparing the kugel, heating up the chicken soup, making your Jachnun... Again, it's all in the planning stage. Anything can happen if it is well organized.

Once Chatsot hits and you are done cooking, give yourself some time to finish off with other tasks such as cleaning up, bathing kids or setting the table. In the winter time, Shabbat comes in so quickly and there barely is about an hour of down time, after all tasks are done, which is still better than rushing into Shabbat. In the summer, in our family, we get to even go out or go to the pool/park because of the long afternoons.

YOU'RE DONE

Preparing for Shabbat doesn’t have to be a source of stress or chaos. By following a structured plan, you can transform your pre-Shabbat routine into a smooth, enjoyable experience. Remember, the goal is to embrace Shabbat with a sense of tranquility and joy, not to be overwhelmed by it.

With thoughtful planning and just the right amount of organization, you’ll find yourself welcoming Shabbat in a relaxed and fulfilling manner. And if you do try to implement this, know that you have the power to make each Shabbat special and memorable. Believe in your ability to balance preparation with serenity, and let the beauty of Shabbat shine through in your home.

May all of you find peace and satisfaction in your Shabbat preparations, and may each week bring a new opportunity for rest and connection with your loved ones. You can do this, and you’ll find that the reward is well worth the effort.

Shabbat Shalom,

Guila